I truly am bothered by these!. Full article 👇 💬

 

INTRODUCTION — THE THINGS THAT WON’T LEAVE YOU ALONE

Life is full of “these.”

“These thoughts.”
“These worries.”
“These habits.”
“These messes.”
“These feelings.”
“These situations.”
“These mysteries.”
“These irritations.”

They show up quietly at first, tapping your shoulder with a whisper.
Then louder.
Then daily.
Then suddenly they become a background noise you can’t shut off.

And then you say it, almost out loud:

“I truly am bothered by these.”

This recipe is for that moment —
a way to sort through the stuff that pulls at you, the things you can’t ignore anymore, the things that weigh on your mind more than you want to admit.

It won’t fix everything instantly.
But it will help you understand what’s bothering you, soften it, and give you the tools to handle it.

Let’s begin.

---

⭐ INGREDIENTS YOU’LL NEED

Core Ingredients

• 1 bothered heart

• 1 cluttered mind

• 1 quiet moment

• A pinch of patience

• A generous helping of self-compassion

• Honesty (to taste)

Tools

• Paper or a notes app

• A comfortable space

• Something warm to drink (optional but comforting)

• A willingness to explore your thoughts

Optional Add-Ins

• Calming music

• A candle

• A cozy blanket

• A window with natural light

• A timer

• A safe support person to talk to later

---

⭐ STEP 1 — ACKNOWLEDGEMENT: NAME THE “THESE”

You can’t handle what you haven’t named.

Take 30–60 seconds.
Write the sentence:

“These things bother me:”

Then list whatever appears in your mind.

It could be:

• tasks you’ve avoided

• clutter you see every day

• anxieties you don’t voice

• someone’s behavior

• your own habits

• changes you want to make

• unanswered questions

• situations you can’t control

• things from the past

• things stuck in the future

Don’t filter.
Don’t judge.
Don’t edit.

This is not a report card.
It’s an unloading.

Let the list spill out of you like a drawer emptied on the floor.

This is the first moment of relief.
Your brain whispers:

“Finally.
We’re looking at this together.”

---

⭐ STEP 2 — SORTING: PUT “THESE” INTO THREE BOWLS

Nana would call this kitchen logic.
If it can be sorted, it can be handled.

Take your list and sort everything into:

Bowl 1: Bothering Me Because I Need Clarity

These are questions, unknowns, and lingering maybes.
Examples:

• “I don’t know where to start.”

• “I’m not sure what this means.”

• “I don’t know how I feel yet.”

Bowl 2: Bothering Me Because I Need Action

These require doing something — small or big.
Examples:

• unfinished tasks

• texts not sent

• small chores

• decisions

• boundaries

• scheduling something

Bowl 3: Bothering Me Because I Need Peace

These have no immediate solution and must be held, not fixed.
Examples:

• grief

• something in the past

• someone’s behavior you can’t control

• uncertainty you can’t force into an answer

• feelings you can’t rush

This division alone changes everything.
Suddenly the chaos has shape.

Your mind breathes:

“Oh.
So it isn’t all one giant problem.”

---

⭐ STEP 3 — CLARITY BOWL: UNTANGLE THE KNOTS

Pick one item from Bowl 1.
Ask:

• What part of this confuses me?

• What am I assuming?

• What information am I missing?

• If someone else described this to me, what would I tell them?

• What is the real question underneath this?

Clarity shrinks overwhelm.
Most of what bothers us is the unknown, not the thing itself.

You say:

“I had no idea it felt this much lighter when I understand it.”

---

⭐ STEP 4 — ACTION BOWL: THE “TINY STEP” STRATEGY

Action doesn’t mean finishing the whole thing.
It means doing something microscopic.

For each item in Bowl 2, write:

One easy action I can take in 2 minutes or less.

Examples:

• Put one paper into the recycling

• Move a dish to the sink

• Send a 5-word message

• Set a reminder

• Look up one phone number

• Put one item into its home

• Make one decision

• Cross off something I don’t actually need to do

• Write the first sentence of a message

• Open a calendar

When something bothers you, the mind exaggerates the effort.
But the truth?

Momentum is usually trapped behind one tiny movement.

You take that step, and suddenly:
“Oh.
Maybe this isn’t as big as I thought.”

---

⭐ STEP 5 — PEACE BOWL: GIVE YOURSELF PERMISSION TO STOP FIGHTING

You cannot solve everything.
You are not meant to.

Bowl 3 is the hardest because it contains:

• feelings

• long-term healing

• things outside your control

• unanswered questions

• slow processes

To bring peace to these items, ask:

• What part of this is not mine to fix?

• What would compassion look like right now?

• How can I hold this gently instead of tightly?

• Who could I talk to about this if I needed support?

Peace is not avoidance.
Peace is accepting that some things are slow, delicate, and out of your hands.

Your heart whispers:
“I didn’t need to solve this today.
I just needed to stop wrestling with it.”

---

⭐ STEP 6 — IDENTIFYING THE “NOISE BEHIND THE NOISE”

Often the things bothering us are not the root.
Behind every cluster of irritation is a deeper theme:

• feeling unheard

• feeling stuck

• needing rest

• needing connection

• fear of change

• overwhelm

• lack of closure

• decision fatigue

• emotional exhaustion

Ask yourself:

“What deeper need is hiding inside these bothers?”

This is where the real clarity comes.

---

⭐ STEP 7 — CREATING A 24-HOUR RELIEF PLAN

You don’t need a 5-year plan.
You need a one-day rhythm.

Based on your three bowls, create:

One Clarity Step

(e.g., learn one thing you don’t know yet)

One Tiny Action Step

(e.g., a 2-minute task)

One Peace Step

(e.g., accepting something without forcing a solution)

This gives you direction without pressure.
You’re not solving your whole life —
you’re creating movement.

Movement is emotional oxygen.

---

⭐ STEP 8 — THE “RESET THE ROOM” MAGIC

This step is optional, but deeply effective.

Pick one tiny physical thing in your space:

• a chair out of place

• a blanket on the floor

• a stack of mail

• a cup

• a drawer

• a corner

Reset it.
Just one.

Your brain will interpret it as:

“We’re getting things under control.”

Emotional clarity often begins with the body noticing one thing returning to order.

---

⭐ STEP 9 — TALK TO YOUR FUTURE SELF

Write a 30-second letter:

“Future me, here’s what was bothering me today,
here’s what I learned,
and here’s what I hope you remember.”

Future you will look back and think:

“I didn’t realize how strong I was even then.”

---

⭐ STEP 10 — RECOGNIZE YOUR POWER AND LIMITS

You have:

• control over your actions

• influence over your environment

• ownership over your choices

• the ability to communicate

• the right to boundaries

• the capacity to change

You do NOT have:

• control over other people

• control over the past

• control over everything that might happen

• the power to rush your own healing

Acknowledging both sides gives you emotional balance.

---

⭐ STEP 11 — WHEN TO ASK FOR HELP

Sometimes the things bothering us are heavy, tangled, or deeply personal.
If your list includes:

• long-term distress

• emotional pain

• thoughts that feel too big

• something you can’t talk about

• a situation involving safety or well-being

Talking to a trusted person — friend, partner, counselor, or support line — is strength, not weakness.

Nana would say:
“If it feels too heavy for one pair of hands, ask for another set.”

---

⭐ STEP 12 — THE FINAL RESET: RELEASE SOMETHING

Choose one item from your list.
Any item.
Small or big.
And say:

“I release myself from fixing this today.”

This single sentence is emotional freedom.
You do not have to carry everything at once.

---

⭐ CONCLUSION — YOU ARE ALLOWED TO FEEL BOTHERED

Feeling bothered doesn’t mean:

• you’re failing

• you’re dramatic

• you’re weak

• you’re stuck

It means your mind is asking for alignment.

This recipe doesn’t solve all the “these” in your life.
It organizes them.
It softens them.
It makes them manageable.
And most importantly—

It reminds you that you’re allowed to feel bothered
and still be okay.

---

If you want, I can also create:

✅ a short version
✅ a funnier/sassier version
✅ a version tailored to stress
✅ a version tailored to relationship issues
✅ a version tailored to home clutter
✅ a version for anxiety
Just tell me what “these” are, and I can tailor it perfectly.